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MAY 7TH, 2009:  When life is its most challenging we can feel darkness even on the sunniest of days.  What spiritual practice teaches us is that there is really no bad experience, it is all just experience.  So in a real sense there are NO DISASTERS.

Now don't get me wrong, is life sometimes dreadfully painful. Do we have those moments where we feel like we are surrounded by smooth sailing sailboats while we're treading water in a beat up, holded up dinghy? YES.  Even then we can see that we are becoming experts in the human condition which will help us be more compassionate and kind when we see someone that is a few steps behind us on the spiritual path, tripping and falling.

Have you ever felt that you get so stuck replaying the disaster that has just happened or rehearsing the what if this happens in my life to me that you get paralyzed and can't move from the catastrophe?  I have.  You know that the car has flipped over and you have to get out but you just can't move.  You don't want to stay in pain but you can't muster the energy or courage to GO TO YOGA CLASS. Even though you know it will help you, help yourself.  Ultimately yoga teaches us to save ourselves. We are the knight in shining armor.  And we have to save ourselves first before we can even possible help others. 

I think of this all like a Bruce Willis or Arnold movie where stuff just keeps blowing up all around. 

May 3, 2009: 

Ok you guys, I’m a little embarrassed to admit I used to be one of those people that would take forever to order food at dinner. I’d be at the table waiting for everyone else to order first because I didn’t have the confidence in the truth of my first instinct in what to order for myself.  Now this may not be a big deal at dinner but it’s a tough way to go through life being indecisive or confused to the TRUTH of who we are (starting with what we want to eat).  Why didn’t I order what I wanted to?  I was too afraid of disappointing someone at the table because they wanted me to order something different than what I wanted or I felt guilty ordering something too expensive.  Really in all honesty I was just afraid of standing up and being myself, declaring to the world “Yes, this is what I want based on who I am.”  This is me remaining true to my truth.

This is how I was living life at the time.  I felt constant guilt over what everyone else wanted me to be.  So I tried desparertly to be who they wanted me to be by wearing that costume.  I never felt like myself inside the costume and the longer I wore it the more itchy and uncomfortable it became until I just couldn’t deny any more that the costume was NOT ME.  My soul was sweating and dying inside from not revealing the true me.  So my spiritual practice evolved and I stopped trying so hard to be who other people wanted me to be. 

I realized that I was trying to be a photocopy of someone else and as we all know photocopies are never as good as the originals.  I would only ever be the second best someone else.  The only person I could be the best at being was ME.  In Yoga that’s known as Satya, “Truth and authenticity” of acknowledging our unique humanness.  I don’t to want to be a PHOTOCOPY PERSON.  Do you?  Because take it from me, you don’t have to be.

In yoga we peel of these outer layers or costumes, masks we wear to rediscover our TRUE selves.  It’s not always easy work, there are tears, laughter, sweating, sometimes even a bit of pain.  But overall it’s a whole lot easier than trying to wear an ill fitting costume the rest of our lives.  And it makes ordering dinner much easier too!

So how do we maintain it?  Well what we are talking about here is a daily spiritual practice (known as Sadhana) where you make time to stay connected to your own truth otherwise the resistance monsters of fear, doubt, guilt come back.  And it is achieved through self-love, seeing who we are is just perfect (without condition) we are each vitally important to the world as we are true.  This is where we found ultimate freedom from mental torture and stress.

Does this seem a little self-centered? Of course, it should.  As Sadie Nardini says, “spiritual disciplines like yoga are built around this concept of moving into and from our center.”  The cool thing is by being more authentic we give everyone else around us permission to be themselves.  There is no pretending and relationships deepen.  It’s a neat way to live, really the only way to live.

The alternative it seems is to keep wearing the costumes, building really great “Life Resumes” as if you were trying to apply for the job of your own life.  I did that.  I put together a Silvia Resume (didn’t really feel totally like me because I was trying to impress everyone else).  Then through yoga funny thing happened.  As the true me was allowed to shine out I realized I already had the job of being Silvia.  And I was only going to get this one chance, this one lifetime to enjoy remaining true to my own truth. 

Today, even for a little while take off the costume, be your funky self!  So you’ll love yourself more, love your day more, love your life more! Silvia

APRIL 20TH, 2009:  Spiritual practice doesn't mean we don't ever face self doubt or worry.  We do.  The difference for me in my life is that when this happens I know better questions to ask myself.  Then it’s a matter of believing, trusting, having pure faith.  In what?  It's easy, LOVE.

Love does heal, will heal, if you step into the currents of grace and allow it to flow into your life. 

What blocks the flow is fear, the enemy of love. Fear is any form of negativity. Don’t wait, remove the blocks of negativity that is slowing the flow of love into your life and you'll come to believe this yourself. 

In yoga we are the lover and the beloved:  As Rumi writes, We are the mirror as well as the face in it.  We are pain and what cures pain both.  He encourages you to, “Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love.”  He puts it most simply when he writes:

I love myself...I love you.

I love you...I love myself.

5 ELEMENTS MEDITATION: LOVE HEALS

Part of my healing took place as I practiced a technique based on the teachings of Swami Kaleshwar. You sit or lie down, holding your hands just above your shoulders. You repeat the mantra, "Oh God, my heart is open to you, please come sit in my heart". You say this once for each fingertip. Your thumb is the Earth, your index finger is the Fire, the middle is Sky, the ring finger is Water and the small finger is Air.

You say the mantra for each fingertip giving each one a little wiggle as you say it. You may feel heat or a tingling sensation after a few weeks or months of practice. Each fingertip contains a chakra for receiving energy that corresponds to the five elements energy. When you are asking God into your heart you are drawing natural energy in through your fingertips.   Performing this meditation technique for 15 minutes twice a day will open your heart to pull the divine energy in you. It will help dissolve your layers and problems in love. It is said that Shiva (Father energy), is flowing in the five elements. Shiva is said to be the Lord of five elements, Namashivaya. He is the pure consciousness, the highest person to reach in the universe. He's where you will find peace. Connecting to Shiva brings you the deepest peace and silence. This deep peace helps you transcend your problems and emotional blocks. When you are in a negative state of mind it helps you come back to your natural states of Love, confidence and happiness. It aligns you with divine peace, intelligence and creativity. This technique is for charging and aligning yourself with LOVE energy. Try it for yourself and see.  Big love, love, love to you all, Silvia