First Class Free

  By Laura Mills

   One Saturday, finding myself with a few hours free before dinner, I walked in the door looking forward to reading. But before my legs touched the couch, I thought of the folder in the kitchen drawer, the one storing the take-out menus, and how I had been meaning to reorganize it but hadn’t yet done so. So I put down my book, pulled out the folder, and weeded out the oldest menus. Then, I figured as long as I was standing at the kitchen counter, I would put away the dishes that had been drying beside the sink. After that—I was already in the kitchen, anyway—I thought I might as well get a head start on dinner….

  In the end, before dinner, I read for about 5 minutes.

  This is not unusual for me. Looking back at that afternoon as an example, I wonder why I carve my days into the tiniest increments of productive time. Is my goal to be able to sit—SOMEDAY—and congratulate myself on how good it feels to finally have everything just perfect? The more I think about that, the more futile it seems. I’m not sure such a point even exists, and if it does, I don’t think I would recognize it when I arrived there anyway.

  Maybe that’s the trick: learning how not to struggle with perfecting life at the expense of life itself. 

OCTOBER 14, 2010.  The breath accepts us unconditionally. It is always all forgiving and accepting.  Think about it, we ignore our breath, treat it with total disregard, prevent it from entering our body by holding our breath out when stressed, we behave casually towards it making little to no commitment.  If we were a lover and the breath was our boyfriend, he'd leave us!  

But not our breath. It lovingly accepts our human imperfection and gives us another chance, and another, and a million and more.  There is a lesson here: when we breath we have another chance to try our best, We are not practicing to be perfect.  We are practicing to make real, to realize the beauty of our humanness.  Yoga philosophy helps us to see that we are perfectly imperfect.  Eventually the more you practice becoming enamored with your breath you allow it to become your best teacher.  And a shift happens.

As the breath accepts you, you start to accept yourself.  Then as you practice this advanced yoga of self-acceptance you become more compassionate and forgiving of others, just as you are towards yourself.  If you love yourself, you know how to love others unconditionally.  And even when other people in your life make mistakes, you appreciate their imperfections and give them a second, third, millionth chance.  

 "You see the wider practice of yoga is not about arranging our life so that it is perfect and easy and non-challenging. Rather it is about using the discipline we find in asana practice (and in the other practices of yoga as well) to be able to remain “easy” in the midst of difficulty. That is the true measure of freedom. When we learn this then everything we do and everything we say becomes an “asana”, a position of body, mind and soul which requires the attention that brings us into the present." And in that present moment there is perfect presence.

Practice breathing on purpose today.  But pranayama is not about belittling the breath or forcing or making it perfect.  The literal translation is below.  And it doesn't say anything about perfect.  It says conscious, deliberate. So we try.

Tasmin sati svasa prasvasaho gati-viccheda pranayama

Pranayama is the conscious, deliberate regulation of the incoming and outgoing flow of breath replacing unconscious patterns of breathing. It is possible only after a reasonable mastery of asana practice.
- Patanjali Yoga Sutra 2.49

Our key breath learning in this practice was about chest breathing.  I have included a quick summary for you below.  The greater take away is how the breath accepts your imperfections, it knows you will forget and will welcome you back to try and in that trying may you be PRESENT.  Love yourself, Love your day, Love your life!  Silvia

CHEST BREATHING
This is probably the most common breathing pattern in today's stress-filled society. Also known as paradoxical breathing, it is a natural reflex when we are suddenly startled or frightened. We gasp, pull the abdomen in and breathe high into the chest. The lift of the abdomen and pelvic floor prevents the diaphragm from descending completely as we inhale. Chest breathers restrict breath movement in the abdomen, forcing it higher up into the chest, while shoulders move up and down.

Effect on mind/body
Chest breathers rely on weak upper body muscles. Thereby developing chronic tension in thoracic spine, shoulders and neck. Moreover, this tension is resistant to massage or any other relaxation therapy as it recapitulates the moment the person resumes chest breathing, which is an incredible 22,000 times a day! Since we can't breathe in fully, we can't breathe out fully also. So we resort to breathing more quickly to make up for lack of oxygen. Scarier still is the fact that it sets the stage for an even more serious breathing problem: hyperventilation. Chest breathers normally sit on the edge of their seats and exude anticipation in their entire bearing. They never seem to have enough time to do all the tasks they set out on and often experience a chronic, free-floating state of anxiety. Scientific evidence now points to the connection between chest breathing, heart disease and high blood pressure.

Identify it
Place one hand on your abdomen and the other on your chest. Observe the movement of both. If both your shoulders and chest are rising, you are probably not a chest breather. A chest breather suppresses breath in the lower abdomen, forcing it to move higher up into the body.

How to let go
Relax your shoulders and upper back. Consciously follow normal breathing pattern. Mentally assess yourself without judgement.  Ground yourself in the present.

(If you want to explore deeper learnings join me on retreat, yoga vacation www.silviamordini.com or www.alchemytours.com)

Naked Yoga on Thursday's!!

Okay, now pick your jaw up off the floor and get your head out of the gutter!  We should all come to class fully clothed as usual.  What I'd like us to shed before we come into the studio are the labels, the roles, the responsibilities, or anything else that we let define us.  These things, these unnecessary garments, hide the true spirit inside each of us.

We often let the labels weigh us down, and because of them we may experience guilt, the feeling of not being good enough.  We make excuses for not being able to live up to some impossible stantards based on who we, or someone else thinks we should be.  In the real world, excuses are generally unacceptable.  In the studio, they are not even necessary!  We don't have to be anything other than who we are-perfect in our imperfections, and loved deeply for what lies beneath our bodies, beyond the roles we play.

When I as you to show up "naked", it means show up as the true you.  Come tired, come sad, come sore, elated, complacent, excited, bored, angry, or whatever.  Just show up as whoever you are in the moment.  We'll work on peeling off our metaphorical clothes in a sweet, self-loving flow that allows our light to shine bigger and brighter than ever.  See you guys soon!

Love in all ways,

Andrea Harris

SEPTEMBER 3, 2010.  Can you imagine a world where everyone does their own yoga?  It is something I say in class all, all the time.  Just let everyone be themselves.  Or as Leo Buscaglia says, “The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don't let them put you in that position.”

In a warrior pose for instance this means shorten or widen your stance, bend your knee a lot or a little, hold your arms up in any position or relax your harms by your sides look up, look straight or close your eyes.  And the list goes on and on and that's just one pose.  Seriously, what if we allowed others to be who they are instead of wanting them to be something different? How would their life be different? What would your quality of life be like? Let me put in perspective like this with a story told to a teacher, repeated by a teacher, told to me and I share with you... imagine the vastness of the ocean and there in the distance you see a single life preserver, just one for the whole ocean. Then imagine under the sea there is a dolphin swimming about trying to come up for air in the exact same spot as there exists the single life preserver.  The chances of the dolphin arising out of the water at the one place the life preserver awaits is said to be the chance we have at being born Human.  

When you think of how dramatic our winning the lotto of life is by being a human being it is remarkable that we would waste a moment forcing others to be what they are not or gossiping about what they are or doing anything besides just BEING OURSELVES.  From a buddhist perspective what distinguishes humans from other beings is that we can realize our own suffering and address it. We can in effect by being ourselves, save ourselves from remaining in a state of suffering and instead enjoying constant ordinary happiness.  To me this is the Peace in the world that most of us are aspiring to for our children, and for our children's children.  

“Among individuals as among nations, the respect to other people's rights is peace”  Benito Juarez

The single hardest yoga pose to practice is "being oneself."  So next time you start talking about what someone in your life (your boss, your colleague, your partner, your kids, your parents) are doing life wrong step back and allow them to be who they are.  We can only be second best at trying to be someone else.  We can only be best at practicing living life as unique and wonderful as we are.  Imperfectly perfect.  Love yourself, love your day, love your life, Silvia

For more about me visit www.silviamordini.com or my spiritual travel company www.alchemytours.com

May 16, 2010 Finally after 3-4 years of procrastinating I set out to finish up a project yesterday and I did! It took all of an hour. Yup. That’s right. I spent years worrying about, putting it off, debating it, starting and stopping it but when all was said and done it took one hour. Spiritual practice has taught me that procrastinating is a perfectionist tendancy. And as one psychologist I read years ago put it, “perfectionism is the worst form of self-abuse.” So I am back on track and went back to basics asking myself “what are my goals: personal, professional and health related”? What are your’s? In class we wrote them out for ourselves. I would love for you to do this now in 5 minutes. 

Then consider what is it that prevents you from going for your goals more fully and making them and keeping them important enough to check in on week to week? I would hazard to guess that the traitors of self-doubt and fear influence us to procrastinate.  The antidote is to stay actively involved in your life yet slowing down enough to remember to wake up to what improves the quality of your life.  What if everything you ever wanted came true? Yogic practice stands up to say of course that is not only possible it is your birthright to co-create with the universe the life of your deepest dreams, to tap into your greatest potential. So why not start today? 

To help us take a moment to write in your Accomplishment Journal about all the things you’ve accomplished this week. Use this in tandem with your goals and intentions to see how far you’ve already come and to provide yourself the validation you need to know you can do this! Don’t put anything off a moment longer that holds meaning to you.  Heed the words of Danna Falds and FALL AWAKE to your life!  Love yourself, love your day, love your life! Silvia

Soul Prayer by Danna Falds

“Lord, grant that I may fall awake, and not miss a moment of the mystery.

Dancing with the dawn, may I draw this day to my breast like a lover.

Rocked with laughter, let me lay waste the fields of doubt and fear,

finding there nor more substance than dandelion seeds flying weightless on the breeze.”

Favorite passage about gratitude in book, Be Happy by William Holden. May this inspire your life as it has mine! Love and light, Silvia

1. Proactive gratitude – Gratitude is conscious reaction to things, people, situations, and outcomes that you deem to be good or positive.  This attitude of gratitude is mostly reactive. That is it exists because something happens first.   But PROactive gratitude is based on a decision to enjoy something BEFORE it happens.  Mantra:  I intend to appreciate and give thanks for today, no matter what happens. 
2. Unconditional gratitude – Gratitude based on a faith that everything that happens or doesn’t happen in your life is for your own best interests.  That we live in a purposeful universe.  Life is always for you; it is never against you.  It is a fact that blessings sometimes come wrapped in fear, pain, and tears.  In choosing to practice unconditional gratitude you are choosing to trust the process, to honor your feelings and to place your faith in an outcome of inevitable grace.
3. Gratitude as spiritual realization – Gratitude stems from revelation that you are what you seek.  This type of gratitude is based on deep spiritual realization that you are created perfectly, and that everything you have chased after and longed for – love, happiness, peace, is already yours.  It is therefore a homecoming and a chance to finally rest.  This real gratitude is based on a thanksgiving for your true identity. It teaches you that happiness does not leave its source.  In other words, happiness does NOT COME AND GO; what comes and goes is your awareness of happiness.  It also teaches you that what is truly valuable already belongs to you.  

OCTOBER 6, 2009:  Gosh you guys it takes time to build a life! Good thing there are a million ways to practice being human.  And part of our humanness is our perfect imperfection.  There is immense courage in accepting that life is messy that no matter how much we try to control the outcome of a situation, we just don’t know what comes next.  Life is funny that way, it is full of trail and error, falling and picking ourselves up again.  The important part is not to get paralyzed in the fear of not trying stuff because we’re afraid of the imperfection. 

Instead DO one thing everyday that scares you:  Favorite line from this utube clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI

There is neither a reason to try to change the past or over rehearse the future because it only makes the present miserable. That’s a shame because we only have this one chance to live today.  There are no do overs so we might as well spill coffee, try to balance on one leg, wear a red dress, go to a midnight movie, travel across the country to make a new friend or whatever else seems a bit of a stretch.

Life is messy already so we might as well live with what life is offering us. Today we talked about the Vata derangement and full moon and mercury retrograde influences going on. Well that’s what we have to work with so we can elevate our attitudes and act our way into feeling better about our lives.  Lama Yeshe said, "A human has a positive and a negative side. We have an ignorant side, but we also have a beautiful potential."  Let’s allow for that beauty to shine out in all its messy, often inconvenient glory!  Love and courage to really live in love, do what you love, and be with whomever you love!  Silvia

LEVEL 2 CLASS PLAYLIST:

SEPTEMBER 16, 2009: 

Aren't you tired of being perfect? 

I read somewhere once that we are far too rational in our relationships, far too ordered, far too organized and far too predictable in the way we live life.  We get stuck in the mundane instead we should "move into spontaneity and serendipity, a level that includes a greater sense of freedom and risk – an active environment full of surprises which encourages a sense of wonder.”

I get tired of being perfect. It is a whole lot more fun being a little messy and entirely more open hearted.  Hey I've lived the abuse of perfectionism and learned that the harder we are on ourselves the tougher we are in terms of our expectations of others.  Through the last 15 years of spiritual practice I've grown kinder, towards myself and everyone else.  Fundamentally we attract the people to us who reflect the relationships we're having with ourselves. 

Every day we are asking through our doing.  So what are you asking for?

Lately it seems like folks have had a harder time than usual getting back into the swing of this “back to school, back to yoga, back to healthy lifestyle” time of year.  It’s been a tough time getting folks to the mat. The reason may be because our summer was less solar so we are a bit less in our energy. Ok, then we have to live with what life is offering us.  It is not perfect, the summer was clearly a bit deranged and we had irrational weather.  That’s just the way of things, not bad, not good just what was there for us.  So it’s up to us to resolve to find the fun and spontaneity in the scope of the energy we feel.

Nature is always our best teacher. A friend shared this story with me today that I share with you here.  It goes like this:

“Today, on my run, I heard some squirrel action.  Do you know the action I am talking about?  It sounded like some pretty intense lovemaking, so I slowed down to see if I could get a view.  They were in a tree about 15 feet above my head, and from the sounds of it, things were quite intense!  Well, sure enough, they were.  The two squirrels were so tightly wound together that it was confusing to see who was who and just precisely what was going on.  The inner voyeur was coming alive in me.  Just as I was thinking I'd best be getting back to things at hand, something slipped--or a small branch broke, or goodness knows what, but the two squirrels came flying through the air at me and landed in a roiling, squeaking, noise of a mess of squirrel ball that immediately separated into two grey streaks and climbed back up the tree to go at it some more!!!  

It was pretty intense.”

You guys, the squirrels clearly did not over organize their location or over analyze their relationship and instead allowed events to simply unfold, then when things didn’t work out the way they expected they were able to regulate or even co-regulate with one another and get right back to what was important to them. In healthy human relationship our partners/friends help us to co-regulate and resolve to adjust to what life is offering instead of getting stuck in the fact it didn’t work the one way we expected. I’ve been in relationship where the other person could not re-regulate and if something didn’t happen according to the “The Plan” the whole day/week/event was ruined.  The yogic teachings tell us that narrowly defining the outcome of anything in just 1 way is the root cause of our suffering and disappointment.  There is always more than one outcome because life as Emerson writes is life is fluid and volatile. The artist India Arie puts it like this in her lyrics:

“Oh God, grant me the serenity to accept the things

that I can not change,

The courage to change the things I can,

The wisdom to know the difference.

And God, give me the courage to love with an open heart,

an open heart, an open heart.

I want to love with an open heart.”  

We have the opportunity not to get dragged down in the details of our lives but live in the broad brush strokes. If we fall out of a tree we get back up the tree to keep enjoying our life!  Spontaneity means as my friend Sadie Nardini writes, “If you want love then be love and it will find you exactly as you are experiencing it inside yourself.  You can't treat yourself like crap and get sweet love back, you give crappy love to yourself and you'll get crappy love in return.  Don’t you deserve better than crappy love?” 

If you are harsh, overly regimented, and self-critical in how you treat yourself that’s exactly what you’ll get back in relationship and you DESERVE BETTER!  The way you broadcast your life to the world through emotion (lightheartedness, ease, wonder, humor) is then transmitted back to you.  Your heart is the mirror.  Maybe if we all lived like those squirrels our lives would be more filled with spontaneity, sweet surprises, and pure pleasure!  Love yourself, love your day, love your life, Silvia

"If I had to live my life over again

I'd try to make more mistakes next time.

I'd try not to be so damn perfect.

I'd relax more, I'd limber up.

I'd be sillier than I've been on this trip.

In fact I know very few things that I would take quite so seriously.

I'd be crazier and I'd certainly be less hygenic.

I'd take more chances, I'd take more trips.

I'd climb more mountains, I'd swim more rivers.

I'd watch more sunsets, I'd burn more gasoline.

I'd eat more ice cream and fewer beans.

I'd have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I was one of those people who lived prophylactically

and sanely and sensibly, hour after hour and day after day.

Oh, that doesn't mean I didn't have my moment... and if I had it

all over to do, I'd have more of those moments.

In fact I would try to have nothing but wonderful

moments, side by side.

I was one of those people who never went anywhere

without a thermometer, hot water bottle, a gargle,

a rain coat, and a parachute.

If I had it to do all over again, I'd travel lighter next time.

If I had my life to live over again, I'd start barefoot

earlier in the Spring and I'd stay that way later in the Fall.

I'd play hooky a little more.

I'd ride more merry-go-rounds.

I'd smell more flowers.

I'd hug more children.

I'd tell more people that I loved them.

If I had my life to live over again.

But you see, I don't."

-  Author Unknown

SEPTEMBER 26TH:  I love the title of this book by Jessica Weiner, self-esteem expert and author of LIFE DOESN'T BEGIN 5 POUNDS FROM NOW.  That’s yoga!   As our intentions today let’s agree we best keep learning by admitting we don't know everything yet and that we can only grow if we accept that we are not perfect.  Have the courage to change, and let’s stop being afraid of making mistakes. Of course life will have trail and error.  By falling over and getting up many times, children learn that walking is possible.  In yoga, falling many times teaches you to fall without pain; we cannot always avoid falling, but we can often learn to avoid the pain!  So join me in boldly saying the mantra to ourselves I will not let the fear of making mistakes control my life!  Right?  YES!  Let it all be messy and imperfect.  Enjoy your humanness and put others at ease because of this self acceptance.  Rock on my friends! Silvia 

Perhaps this meditation can be a powerful motivation as well as dedication for your practice:

"May I become at all times, both now and forever
A protector for those without protection
A guide for those who have lost their way
A ship for those with oceans to cross
A bridge for those with rivers to cross
A sanctuary for those in danger
A lamp for those without light
A place of refuge for those who lack shelter
And a servant to all in need."
--His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama  

AUGUST 3RD, 2008:  When I first started practicing yoga I dressed like an Eskimo.  I was all covered up, dressed head to toe in black.  In the corporate world I had similar “armor” I wore with the black power suit, serious glasses, hair, briefcase (for those of you who remember briefcases).  Then as I practiced I started to let go of my own defenses and relax a little bit being “me”.  It was not easy taking off my external layers to experience the freedom of not hiding behind any barrier whether it be job title, clothing, or lifestyle.  But it changed my life. 

As we practice yoga it is important to remember that we are not practicing to be perfect. We are simply practicing as we are in an effort to reveal our most real selves.  In each time on the mat I wish you enough so that you not expand too far to fast.  Take your time, don't rush it. Love, Silvia

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough.