DISCOVER THE TRUTH OF WHO YOU ARE
May 3, 2009:
Ok you guys, I’m a little embarrassed to admit I used to be one of those people that would take forever to order food at dinner. I’d be at the table waiting for everyone else to order first because I didn’t have the confidence in the truth of my first instinct in what to order for myself. Now this may not be a big deal at dinner but it’s a tough way to go through life being indecisive or confused to the TRUTH of who we are (starting with what we want to eat). Why didn’t I order what I wanted to? I was too afraid of disappointing someone at the table because they wanted me to order something different than what I wanted or I felt guilty ordering something too expensive. Really in all honesty I was just afraid of standing up and being myself, declaring to the world “Yes, this is what I want based on who I am.” This is me remaining true to my truth.
This is how I was living life at the time. I felt constant guilt over what everyone else wanted me to be. So I tried desparertly to be who they wanted me to be by wearing that costume. I never felt like myself inside the costume and the longer I wore it the more itchy and uncomfortable it became until I just couldn’t deny any more that the costume was NOT ME. My soul was sweating and dying inside from not revealing the true me. So my spiritual practice evolved and I stopped trying so hard to be who other people wanted me to be.
I realized that I was trying to be a photocopy of someone else and as we all know photocopies are never as good as the originals. I would only ever be the second best someone else. The only person I could be the best at being was ME. In Yoga that’s known as Satya, “Truth and authenticity” of acknowledging our unique humanness. I don’t to want to be a PHOTOCOPY PERSON. Do you? Because take it from me, you don’t have to be.
In yoga we peel of these outer layers or costumes, masks we wear to rediscover our TRUE selves. It’s not always easy work, there are tears, laughter, sweating, sometimes even a bit of pain. But overall it’s a whole lot easier than trying to wear an ill fitting costume the rest of our lives. And it makes ordering dinner much easier too!
So how do we maintain it? Well what we are talking about here is a daily spiritual practice (known as Sadhana) where you make time to stay connected to your own truth otherwise the resistance monsters of fear, doubt, guilt come back. And it is achieved through self-love, seeing who we are is just perfect (without condition) we are each vitally important to the world as we are true. This is where we found ultimate freedom from mental torture and stress.
Does this seem a little self-centered? Of course, it should. As Sadie Nardini says, “spiritual disciplines like yoga are built around this concept of moving into and from our center.” The cool thing is by being more authentic we give everyone else around us permission to be themselves. There is no pretending and relationships deepen. It’s a neat way to live, really the only way to live.
The alternative it seems is to keep wearing the costumes, building really great “Life Resumes” as if you were trying to apply for the job of your own life. I did that. I put together a Silvia Resume (didn’t really feel totally like me because I was trying to impress everyone else). Then through yoga funny thing happened. As the true me was allowed to shine out I realized I already had the job of being Silvia. And I was only going to get this one chance, this one lifetime to enjoy remaining true to my own truth.
Today, even for a little while take off the costume, be your funky self! So you’ll love yourself more, love your day more, love your life more! Silvia