POWER OF WORDS

AUGUST 12, 2010.  I have a full library of books on communication.  As a love anthropologist I am fascinated by why people use certain words versus others to convey the same thing.  And this interest in words has grown ever more engaging as face to face communication has decreased.  And quite frankly my desire to understand has increased as I receive really harsh sometimes downright mean emails on an almost daily basis.  The proverbial "why" is there lingering in the background.(as in "why would someone say that and be so nasty for no reason?")

What I have realized through yogic and spiritual awakefulness is that much of what is behind the angry words chosen is a disconnect to their impact.  I believe that when someone is intentionally hurtful in words they are not completely in tune with the long term impact of what that energy does to the world.

"If we are unconscious of the power of words, we run the risk of creating a noisy disturbance."  - Unknown Author

Getting on the mat makes us more mindful of what we think, say and do.  And when what we are thinking is in alignment with our actions we are in a state of natural happiness.  So today, before you send an email reread it, take a lap, pause and be awake to what you are saying and how you are saying it.  Yup the concern is whether this will take up more time?  YES it will. But that extra 60 seconds will change the world.  And its up to you.

Love yourself, love your day, love your ilfe!  Silvia

8/12/2010   Tags:  communication, words, language, change, mindfulness, yoga, happiness Direct Link

YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE

March 12, 2010:  In the book The Five Love Languages Dr Chapman talks about figuring out your primary way of expressing and interpreting love.  Cool concept. I was told about this NYT best seller 2 years ago or more. Finally yesterday I read the book.  What really came through to me from a Yogic perspective is this understanding of how we communicate is the practice of Svadhaya or self-study/self-observation.  If you don't know who you are or what language you're speaking gosh it's going to be a bit more difficult to ask someone else (whether it be a friend or family member or partner) to speak your same language.  And from becoming more expert in your own humanity you learn about other humans.  

In the corporate world I used to tell my staff to apply a variation of the Golden Rule. I said to them don't communicate and treat them the way you want to be spoken to but communicate with them the way THEY want and need to be related to.  This was at the heart of my efforts to teach/coach or otherwise inspire my staff to build relationships with both clients and fellow staff.  Many times they'd come back to tell me a story of how they applied this to home life too and it worked!  

When we come to the mat we have a chance to figure ourselves out a bit and ultimately refine the primary language we speak and practicing in a group we can look around and see maybe the people around us have their own yoga, speak another language.  It is not enough to come from love. We are all hopefully doing that.  We have to take that next step and learn the love languages of our friends and loved one's too.  If I keep speaking Italian and don't ever attempt to learn Japanese which my partner speaks then likely we are not going to be able to connect on a deeper level.  So enjoy this 7th Chakra Namaskar (Salutation) which asks us to unify our energies from 1st through 7th chakras.  And some of the great flow music I choose today I've included below too.  I will offer a second posting about this book all on its own for your non yoga friends to share in if you want to pass it along.  Here's to all of us speaking the languages of Love!  Blessings, Silvia  

 

LOVE LANGUAGE PLAYLIST

Gobinday Mukunday, Spirit Voyage Om Padme Om, Wah!, Ananda, Solar Quest Diarabi, Issa Bagayogo Nogo, Issa Bagayogo High Low, Michael Franti, Spearhead feat. Zap Mama Nobody Right, Nobody Wrong, Michael Franti Aja Uttama, Dave Stringer Ganesha Windmix, Jai Uttal Guru Ram, Mirabai Ceiba Ahimsa, Baird Hersey & Prana    

7th Chakra Namaskar

Start standing in Mountain with HASTA VINYASA – “Conductor arms”

 

INHALE – Reach arms down and out lift left knee Crane

EXHALE – Arms to sides and reach forward Flying Lunge

INHALE – Low Lunge circle arms out and up

EXHALE – Half Splits circle arms down and out

INHALE – High Lunge circle arms forward and up

EXHALE – Prepare

INHALE – Warrior 3 circle arms down and out

EXHALE – Crane circle arms forward and up, lower foot to Mountain

Side 2 begins

INHALE – Tip Toe Pose

EXHALE – Forward Fold arms sweep back and up

INHALE – Tip Toe Pose

EXHALE – Plow

INHALE – Tip Toe Pose

EXHALE – Forward Fold arms sweep back and up

INHALE – Jump to Vajrasana

EXHALE – Camel (Flow circular arms)

INHALE - Plank

EXHALE - Chatarunga

INHALE - Up Dog

EXHALE - Down Dog

3/12/2010   Tags:  yoga poses, vinyasa, flow yoga, love, yoga playlist, communication; five love languages Direct Link

THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES: BY DR GARY CHAPMAN

March 12, 2010:  From www.5lovelanguages.com and the book by the same name.  Check it out! "After many years of counseling, Dr. Chapman noticed a pattern: everyone he had ever counseled had a “love language,” a primary way of expressing and interpreting love. He also discovered that, for whatever reason, people are usually drawn to those who speak a different love language than their own.

Of the countless ways we can show love to one another, five key categories, or five love languages, proved to be universal and comprehensive—everyone has a love language, and we all identify primarily with one of the five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

Since The Five Love Languages debuted in 1992, over five million copies have been sold, making The Five Love Languages a perennial New York Times bestseller.

30 SECOND QUIZ: Which is your love language?

  • I feel especially loved when people express how grateful they are for me, and for the simple, everyday things I do.
  • I feel especially loved when a person gives me undivided attention and spends time alone with me.
  • I feel especially loved by someone who brings me gifts and other tangible expressions of love.
  • I feel especially loved when someone pitches in to help me, perhaps by running errands or taking on my household chores.
  • I feel especially loved when a person expresses feelings for me through physical contact.

 

Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Physical Touch

This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

3/12/2010   Tags:  five love languages, love, communication Direct Link

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