First Class Free

  By Laura Mills 

  Those who know me best know the size of my sweet tooth, particularly my fondness for anything heavily frosted. Most cakes (especially corner pieces with lots of flowers) and giant frosted cookies hold special places in my heart. My closest friends readily joke about my gargantuan smile at spotting a bakery, and in delicious fun I laugh with them because, trust me, me plus frosting equals pure bliss.

  While the idea is tempting, I don’t keep emergency cake in my car or cookies in my purse. Yet I often wish I could transfer my “frosting bliss” to other parts of life. Of course, I don’t spend all day eating desserts; however, why can’t I experience the same delight, or even something close to it, when I do laundry? What about when I grocery shop? And when I clean the house? What if I could somehow figure out how to infuse more contentment into those activities and make them as blissful as enjoying my favorite desserts? 

  And so, my quest has become to bring something close to “blissfully happy” to as many moments as possible. Practicing yoga is a great start because it continuously reminds me that a lot of life—more than I ever thought possible, in fact—can actually be pretty sweet. But among the secrets, I think, and something I desperately need to work on, is slowing down and allowing myself to actually taste it. From there…who knows? 

  May the moments of your life be “Cookie Moments,” too.

February 7, 2011.  Carlos Casteneda in his book The Teachings of Don Juan offers a great suggestion for considering what choices to make. To me this is speaking to the heart of the yogic definition of HAPPINESS.  “You must always keep in mind that a PATH is only a path; if you feel you must not follow it, you must not stay with it under any circumstances…any path is only a path, there is not affront to yourself or others in dropping it if that is what your head tells you to do. But your decision to keep on the path or to leave it must be free of fear or ambition.  Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself, and you alone, One question…it is this…DOES THIS PATH HAVE A HEART?  Does this path have a heart is the question. If it does, then the path is GOOD; if it doesn’t, it is of no use. Both paths lead nowhere, but one has heart and the other doesn’t. One makes for a joyful journey; as long as you follow it you will be one with it. The other will make you curse your life. One makes you strong, the other weakens you.” 

Each individual can judge for himself which path has heart for him and invite happiness every step of the way.  Today I am thinking of Yoga as the Science of Happiness. This has me thinking about ancient Yogic writings like that of the Bhagavad Ghita where it talks about  “the only real happiness in life is living with an open, loving heart.”  “It explains the nature of happiness, emphasizing that all those things that are obtained in the world are transitory and if we define success by material stuff we limit ourselves and miss out on life because there is not substitute for peace, love and happiness. At the same time it’s not the stuff that’s the problem the problem is the belief that stuff is the solution to the aching soul.” (Judith Lasater, Living Your Yoga)

This science of happiness we call yoga makes space so we can  is let go of what is negative and stay tuned in to our own contentment.  And the person responsible for being happy is YOU.  Yoga teaches self-responsibilty, non-judgment and seriously radical self-acceptance by accepting the full spectrum of who we are (anger, worry, fear).   The mat is a truth serum that helps us realize the truth and allows us to clear the space for living a more joyful life.  

"Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing" — W. B. Yeats

Yoga moves us on only those paths with heart and then we can't help but grow and evolve.  And we leave the mat remembering how happy we really are and even more joy is yet come.  Love yourself, love your day, love your life! Silvia

May 10, 2010, Gosh when you think about the biggest obstacle to feeling happy is letting our minds get all dirty with worry, stress, fear (basically all the unhappy thoughts).  If you think of your mind like a load of laundry and yoga is the washing machine we come into the practice to engage our breath which is like the detergent that cleans us on the inside.  Today, how big a load of laundry do you have to do?

Start there.

Then we have a better idea of how much work we have to do in order to Yoga citta vritti nirodhah, to calm the disturbances or dirtiness of our minds.  This is Yoga Sutra chapter 1 verse 2.  If you can engage in mindful movement connected to your breath you slow down and help your mind from being so agitated.  Otherwise, the mind stays in this cycle of obsessive churning and never actually let’s you get clean and easeful in your thoughts. And our thoughts are the predecesors to all our actions as Einstein says.

The biggest obstacle to a happier life is our own busy mind.  Once we access that contented, peaceful state that yoga brings where we no longer struggle in our thoughts then we can actually remember we have the key to our happiness and joy.  Or as Danna Faulds puts it so poetically,

“Within us lie the answers to our deepest questions and the antidote for all our fears.

The divine is not an abstraction – it’s as clear and intimate as a heartbeat or a whisper.

No matter how identified we’ve become with mind and body,

we can release the thoughts that blind us to the truth. 

Seek the still point where the words “you” and “I” lose meaning,

where we meet and merge as One.” 

OCTOBER 20, 2009:  “You can’t run after contentment it has to find you, all you can do is try to create the space for it. Pay attention to what you can let go of” to create that space. What I think Judith Lasater is talking about as is interpreted by the Yoga Sutras is to drop our heavy expectations. You know those expectations that weigh us down because they are so unrealistic and not even about what we personally want. What is our own truth. 

So you guys we can begin right now paying attention to our own enjoyment or CAPACITY to enjoy life:  The Yoga Sutras say “enjoyment is the sweetness of noticing your life right now – smell, taste, feeling, sensation”  What do you want that is meaningful to you?  Well ok then can you simply put that out there as a gentle intention allowing it to come to you instead of pulling at it. Also can you receive it if when it does find you it doesn’t exactly look like what you expected?

I put out to the universe what I wanted in my life a little over a year ago.  I thought I was ready to receive it no matter what especially since I consider myself pretty open-hearted and open-minded. But then when what I dreamed was finally offered to me I had that initial moment of “hey that’s not exactly as I wanted it because there is too much distance and some aura of complexity involved.” Come on! But the thing is I’ve learned it is exactly in the way I needed to receive it.  The universe totally knew what was best for me and delivered to me the situation that was the healthiest. And I’ve never been happier.  If I had turned my back on what was right in front of me because it didn’t totally match my strict expectations I would have missed out on maybe the best experience of my life.  How sad would that have been?  And how often have you done that?

Equally we learn what letting go of expectations is not:  which Sean Corne says so well, “Well what it isn’t is trying to rewrite the past, we can learn something (even from those that have hurt you or things that didn’t go the way you wanted them to) and move on.”  So today really use the practice to quiet your mind by paying attention to what extremes of your expectations you can let go of.  And most importantly can you try to release your mind from constantly wanting your situation to be different.  There is no reason to make war with what you feel, see or experience.  You have the freedom to open your heart to what you might be missing by relaxing some of the armor like expectations that can form around you

In closing here is one of my favorites quotes from the book Immunity to Change is “Happiness is really freedom from unhappiness.”  So join me in softening our expectations so we can find the:

·         Freedom to be happier than ever before

·         Freedom to try new things

·         Freedom to meet new people

·         Freedom to make happy failures

·         Freedom to not play it all so safe

·         Freedom to do the unexpected

·         Freedom to just see what happens

Love to you all, Silvia

There is that tendency we have to want things to be different than what they are but spiritual maturity impresses upon us to learn how to find a way to be content with what is in the present for it is a gift.  To help with this growth simply listen to your heart as you watch your thoughts.  This study of oneself will open up channels of stuckness in both the physical body and channels to deep reservoirs of clarity and wisdom within our minds.  This cultivates appreciation.  And there is an inherent gentleness when we practice appreciation for who we are.  Please make your observations not from a place of judgement but of understanding, compassion and self-love.  Know that you dissolve negativity through appreciation for this is the real enemy of love.  Practice appreciation and love triumphs!

So today take time to appreciate your breath, to appreciate your feelings (whatever they may be – joy, sadness, peace, frustration, love), appreciate being in your own skin.  I know this is not easy.  Just like the poses we practice on the mat are not easy.  They are often very uncomfortable. 

So I’m asking you to be uncomfortable. To actually stay with the discomfort of your reactivity until you can turn it into a loving response.  With time you’ll find the action of appreciation gets easier and this is the answer to dissolving the negative from all areas of your life.  And as luck has it life is going to keep giving us opportunities to evolve this practice.  From one perspective what we are talking about here is Santosha, to be with what is and find the good, experiencing contentment within the situation, with the person instead of getting angry or having to change the thing, situation, weather or person.  Now that’s the advancing of our spiritual selves.  Let the door of appreciation open the way.  Love you, love serving you! Silvia

NOVEMBER 28TH, 2008:  When we think about detoxification I think for most of us physical detox comes to mind.  However, for me the even more impactful detox that yoga brings about is the MENTAL DETOX.  Yoga has been proven to help us overcome the blues, negativity, stress and even depression.  Patricia Moreno, founder of the intensati workout says, "When we're in a state of stress, fear or depression, that attitude creates a sensation in the body, Yoga helps purge toxic thoughts by teaching you to move your awareness away from the chaos of the mind and back to the present moment. That practice is not a basic component of other fitness pursuits.”

 So we started our practice with Kapalbhati breathing which most literally translated means "sparkling clean". It makes the head clear out of negative emotions so it is devoid of toxins and becomes shiny and clean by very quickly eliminating Carbon dioxide and bringing in tons of oxygen.   

We also used physical asanas especially designed to work on the three main systems of the body that play a crucial role in the elimination of wastes. These systems are: circulatory, digestive and lymphatic systems.  Yoga impacts these three systems better than any other fitness because it focuses on stretching and compressing every part of the body.  Every part of the body is pushed, pulled, twisted, and turned my friends!  I hope that you will find the practice as powerful as I have in bringing back the sparkle into your life.  That it will help you fine tune the instrument of your body but even more will open your mind to the best life possible!  I want for you mental peace, physical health and radiant well-being!  Love, Silvia

The key word here is working. Seligman's underlying point—and here, psychology aligns itself with the wisdom tradition of yoga—is that contentment is something that has to be practiced.

Most of us know how to practice discontentment. We routinely sabotage our good moods by worrying about the future; bitching about our bosses; comparing our achievements, looks, and body weight with those of others; or telling ourselves negative stories about our lives and relationships. The yogic practices for getting to contentment are simply tactics for reversing these tendencies, for retraining our minds to view life from a different perspective. And these techniques are universally applicable—they can work for you whether you practice yoga or not.”

This is why I teach yoga.  I think of it as HAPPINESS TRAINING. I wholeheartedly believe that we are co-creators with the Universe and what we say to ourselves on the inside is what we see on the outside. The world is not created out there and then experienced inside us. It's the other way around. What you see on the outside is the reflection of what you've created on the inside through your thoughts.  But it's not easy to be happy, and it certainly isn't for wimps.  It takes courage to be happy (as Henry Frederic Amiel) says.  And the good news is: